GOOD NEWS! i've found myself :) i've answered the wandering questions and thoughts that i had a short time ago and i am totally content once again. to be honest, i think that there will forever be small ruts like that on the road i'm walking, but with each one i grow stronger.
for anyone who reads my random blog (i have no idea if anyone does)the answer to my "how does someone find themselves" question is so simple: just be. i know that can be easier said than done, but if you're being honest with yourself and ask yourself that question, you will find the answer. i basically told myself: "Nikki, you know who you are. forget the bullshit and be yourself. dont try to be who you think other people want you to be. that wont get you any where. you just gotta be who you know you are and if there are things you want to improve on, then do it!"
in all seriousness, i know that i was trying to impress other people, being embarrassed about things that i thought other people wouldnt like about me and i was totally ruining the person i am and i was bruising relationships that were (& are) important to me. people close to me could tell i had lost myself some where and guess what? i totally did. without a question i let other people affect me and the person that i am... UNACCEPTABLE. my life was definitely not happy when i was trying to live it the way others wanted me to.
now that i've found myself, i dont need anyone else. i obviously want other people in my life and there are people who i want to always be in touch with and close to, but i keep them in my life because i want them there :)
I'M LIVIN' MY LIFE FOR ME (&God) NOW :D and i've never felt better.
